One of my favorite memories from CGA is when I got to teach the whole class for 45 minutes about poetry as a type of prayer! So for today’s blog I thought I’d share with y’all a snippet from my teaching!
As you all know, I write A LOT of poetry. But I’ve struggled to view it as a means of communication or “prayer” with the Lord. It feels so self-centered and emotional, like there is no space for God’s voice to enter in. But, when I started looking into the psalms at the beginning of the year, the structure of the Psalms struck me. They all end with hope! Dogs might be chasing David, his mouth may be as dry as cotton, but He makes a point to recall or “remember” the faithfulness of the Lord.
My spiritual director back at home gave me an exercise to write my own psalm as an expression of my feelings to the Lord. I loved the way that it emphasized the hope and the change that might arise in you as you do the exercise.
I ended up using this exercise in my teaching, and the psalms my classmates wrote just blew me away! They were so beautiful and heartfelt and genuine. I almost cried several times because I related to their pain and triumphs in a deep way. So here’s exercise for y’all! It was so sweet for me and my time with Jesus, and I encourage y’all to try this on your own time and see what the Lord might stir in you!
Write your own Psalm
This exercise can help you become more aware of your feelings in relation to God, and give you permission to express them in prayer. If you have held onto feelings like grief, anger, or a desire for revenge, believing it would be dangerous to express them to God, try writing your own prayer in psalm form:
Select a Psalm that voices the feelings you are afraid to speak (Ps. 13, 22, 42, 77, 88, and 94 are possibilities). Ask God to help you accept the reality of your feelings.
Get acquainted with the psalm, especially the verses that best express your attitudes.
Lay it aside and begin to write your own psalm to God. Let it emerge from your experience, your feelings, and your faith.
Be as honest as you can.
If you want your feeling to change, include that desire in your psalm. If you find your feelings changing as you express them to God, include the changes of heart too. You may end with a different perspective than you began with.
Offer your personal psalm to God as a heartfelt prayer, asking the Spirit to take your feelings in a direction that will be for your healing and God’s glory.
Now I’ll share with y’all the poem/psalm that I wrote from this practice!
“Oh My Soul”
I
Oh my soul
Why are you anxious within me?
Why does my heart race at every small sound?
Why does my mind blank at the thought of hard work?
Oh my soul,
The Father’s whisper is drawing close to you-
Can you hear?
Breathe in deep His perfume,
And fall asleep with the restful moon.
Oh my soul,
Hear Him now!
His footsteps fall outside my door,
My enemies fall as He draws near.
The silence is peace now in my heart,
The darkness cannot tease or tear me apart.
Oh my soul,
Remember your breath
And the length and the depth
Of the Father’s love that makes you whole.
II
Oh my soul,
Death has won again!
This pitiful sword of mine is dull and dead,
I cannot defend this fragile heart of mine.
Oh my soul,
I am lost in the sea-
Is this eternity?
Oh send a friend,
Give this darkness a final end!
Oh my soul,
I am weak and weary
I cannot speak, my eyes are blurry.
Lord are you there?
Do you even care?
Oh my soul,
Do I dare hope that Jesus is near?
Do not you care how I grope
In the dark in sadness and fear?
My joy has been sold.
III
Oh my soul,
Listen, be still!
I hear a noise-
Surely I I’ll rejoice if it’s my Father’s hill
And if at last I’m home.
Oh my soul,
The dark’s not so bad, for here is the day!
Alone I was sad while the Lord was away.
But He whispered my name
And running I came.
Praise God for this glorious day!
It’s interesting reading this poem again because in it I see reflected my own spiritual journey from the past four months. I started out CGA praising God for his faithfulness, seeing Him so clearly good in my life everywhere I went. But then the darkness came back- the temptation that Death is easier and better for me and everyone around me. It’s hard to pinpoint the moment that everything changed for me and joy took root in my heart again- but it did, and that’s all that matters. I stand here a changed woman. I lived through “dark night of the soul” and made it out alive. This poem is a testimony of that. Jesus is so cool!
If y’all end up doing this practice and want to share it with me, please do!! I feel so loved by and connected with y’all when you share the amazing things the Lord is doing in your life. Please don’t be shy! Love you all so much!!
~Marianna H
P.S. I only have one week of CGA left!! I need y’all’s help to be fully funded by the end of the week! If you feel led to support me, go to the orange “Donate!” button at the top of the screen! Other ways you can support me are by sharing this blog with your friends and family, leaving an encouraging comment, and praying for me! Also, remember to subscribe so you don’t miss a blog this week! I am posting everyday in a grand finale that I am calling “Goodbye Week.” I’m sharing all that I have even up to, and all that I’ve learned here in my time in Georgia! Thank you again for all your support, I cannot do this without each and every one of you!
“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall be continually in my mouth… Oh magnify the Lord with me! And let us exalt His name together!” Psalm 34:1,3
