Hello everyone!! I’m so excited to announce that this is my FINAL WEEK of CGA!! To end well I thought I’d write a series of blogs to be released every day this week touching on different things I learned over the last few months! It’s only one per day, so don’t freak out just yet! I won’t spam your inboxes, or social media feeds too much! BUT I will be sharing stories, God moments, healing, updates on my mental health, questions I still have, and so much more! I’ve been in a season of joy the past month, which is so freaking cool, and I hope I can share this new found joy with all of you! So with that, sit back, relax, and enjoy, GOODBYE WEEK!!
It is a tender thing, Hope. It is a gentle thing, Grace. It is a soft thing, Joy.
They have crept up on me in places I left dormant. They filled me up when I wasn’t looking. I found them each individually and together in my life the past four months.
I met Grace in darkness- where I could not choose between Life or Death. They hung above me ominously asking for my whole heart. But they did not fight, they waited for me. I met Hope in the morning where I heard Jesus say “Follow Me.” Then I found him in every new breath. I found Joy when I looked into the darkness, and Jesus turned the coin to show me that there was goodness in my suffering. I saw the friends, the beauty, the emotions the darkness gave me. I found joy when I experienced for myself that the good and bad are often very close together, and that’s okay- that’s how it’s meant to be. I found all of these things in my roommates, mentors, and the leaders who saw the good, the beautiful, and the gifts the Lord has given me- and they didn’t hold it back.
My friends- if you see something good in someone, let them know! I have been transformed by people pointing out the best in me. I have new memories and new grace to hold on to because of it. I believe everyone needs to know they have worth and value in this world. And do not be ashamed to ask your friends what they see in you! You need to know that you have purpose, that you belong in this world. Let me affirm you- you are doing a great job and you are growing so much!
I’m going to be super vulnerable for a second and practice this with my family for all of you to see.
I love my sister Rachel because she sees beauty in my tears. She’s not afraid of strong emotions, and she creates such a safe space for those feelings to be seen, accepted, and loved. I love her beautiful smile that brightens everyone’s day. I love her love and dedication to her mental and physical health in spite of all that she had to overcome- or maybe because of the trials she went through to get to where she is now. She is strong, resilient, and full of life. Thank you Rachel for teaching perseverance, and grace for my feelings.
I love my brother Jonathan because he listens so sweetly and intently to everything I have to say. He is slow to judge, quick to relate and offer perspective and a solution. He cares deeply for everyone in his life, and makes everyone feel seen and special, no matter what their history is. He loves unconditionally. I always feel so understood, loved, and cared for by him. Thank you Jon for teaching me unconditional, unprejudiced love for everyone.
I love my brother Anthony because of his joy and his easy laughter. I can’t help but smile when I hear his laughter from across the room. He has a passion for people to make the most of their life- the most fun, healthy, and authentic life. He encourages me to care for myself first, and that my life is my own, and no one else’s. He helps me feel empowered to live the life I want to live, and not get stuck in the monotony of the ordinary. Thank you Anthony for teaching me self-care, self-love, and the endless opportunities life has to offer.
I love my sister-in-law Cassandra because of her constancy. I have known her since I was a little girl, and ever since then she has taught me calm, balance, and meekness. She is a woman of many talents, but she does not boast or show them off. She weathers pain and suffering with grace and a quiet strength unlike anyone I have ever seen before. She has overcome so much and still finds joy and love for those around her. She cares for her soul and the people around her like she cares for her plants- with love, dedication, and consistency. She is a true nurturer. Thank you Cassandra for teaching me steadfastness, endurance, and strength in gentleness.
I love my mom because she cares for people so deeply and genuinely. She sees the hearts of those around her, and is such a picture of empathy. She always seems to know what I like and what I need before I do. I can’t go thrift shopping with anyone else because she knows what I like even when I think it looks bad on the hanger. She cares about people’s stories and listens with an open heart. She can always get to the truth in conversations, and offer love and grace in that vulnerable space. I love her touch. Her hands are always warm and gentle and full of love. Thank you mom for teaching me authentic love, and for opening my eyes to the needs of others.
I love my Dad because of his tender heart for the people in his life. I ask him all the questions all the time about love, life, and God. He has vision for how things work, and always answers me with patience, thoughtfulness, and understanding. He offers logical perspectives that I know come from experience and a heart after God’s own heart. His dad jokes are the best, and I love his laughter and amusement over the picture of the poor cat whose nose got stung by a bee! His heart is pure and I have never doubted his love for me. Thank you Dad for teaching me humor, for reminding me that there are no dumb questions, and for being a picture of the Heavenly Father’s love for me.
Thank you Jesus for eyes to see You in my family- for letting me see them as You see them. It is truly a humbling place to be.
I encourage you all to practice this with those you love! You don’t have to give it to them right away, but it is such a gift to be seen as you truly are. Let the Lord peel the scales from your eyes, and see things as He sees. You won’t regret it. Love you all so much!!
~Marianna Harris
P.S. If you made it this far, THANK YOU!! I have so much to share with y’all this week about my time at CGA. This season has been so fruitful and healing for me, and I can’t wait to for y’all to hear about it! I am still fundraising! I have $1,895 left to be FULLY FUNDED!! To donate, click the orange “Donate!” button at the top of the blog page! I’m hoping to reach this financial goal by the end of the week, May 30th! I will be heading back to Texas that day to start on what’s next. And what’s next you ask? Well, stay tuned till the end of the week to find out!! Thank you all for supporting me through prayer, finances, encouraging words, and even reading this blog! You all hold a special place in my heart. Don’t forget to subscribe to this blog by clicking the red button under my profile picture so you don’t miss any posts this week! All the love. <3
“Open your eyes and you shall be satisfied with bread” -Proverbs 20:13
